


Snookums

by Calantha2001



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:34:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24992398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calantha2001/pseuds/Calantha2001
Summary: SG-1 returns from a mission that did not go as planned.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	Snookums

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe someday I'll write this mission out onstage, but for now I just needed to write enough to find out why my muse gifted me the mental image of Jack and Daniel holding hands in the Gateroom in front of General Hammond, with this dialogue exchange:  
> "Isn't that right, Snookums?"  
> "Bite me."

_“Unscheduled off-world activation!”_

As soon as he heard the announcement, General George Hammond hustled from his desk to the control room.

“Receiving SG-1’s IDC, sir,” Sergeant Harriman said. “They’re a day early. No emergency signal, though.”

“Open the iris,” George said over his shoulder, heading down the stairs. He arrived in the Gateroom in time to see SG-1 walk through the gate four abreast, stepping in unison. Unusual but nothing to raise eyebrows over … until George noticed they were all holding hands. O’Neill and Teal’c were bookends.

“Colonel?” George looked them over. At least they were all ambulatory.

The team walked to the end of the ramp and down the steps to him, still in unison.

“I regret to inform you that treaty negations broke down, sir,” O’Neill said.

The SFs stepped forward. Major Carter stared at the one nearest her for several seconds before she slowly let go of Doctor Jackson’s left hand in order to unclip her rifle with her right, still holding firmly to Teal’c’s right hand, and gave her rifle to the SF. Teal’c handed over his staff weapon. O’Neill also unclipped his rifle one-handed, not letting go of Jackson’s right, and gave it to the SF nearest him.

“Dare I ask why?” George glanced from one team member to another. Usually Doctor Jackson would report on negotiations, but he was uncharacteristically quiet. Only now did George notice Jackson’s split and swollen bottom lip, a bruise blooming just below his left eye, and the rip at the neckline of his black t-shirt.

“Turns out the locals had never before seen anyone with blue eyes.” O’Neill waved his right hand, indicating Carter and Jackson. “The more time they spent with the Wonder Twins here, the more fascinated they became. By yesterday afternoon, one of the sticking points of the treaty was that they wanted to start a breeding program to raise babies with eyes the color of the sky.”

“A _what_ program?” It took a lot to shock George, but he was certainly taken aback.

“They were most insistent,” Teal’c intoned.

“Of course we did the whole, we’re flattered but no thank you, routine,” O’Neill continued. “But some of the village elders and healers persisted. So then we tried bluffing that Carter and Daniel aren’t available to make babies with any locals because they’re already taken.” He turned to Jackson. “Isn’t that right, Snookums?”

Jackson glanced over at O’Neill, and without any rancor in his voice replied, “Bite me.”

One side of O’Neill’s mouth curved in a smile.

Carter rested her head against Teal’c’s bicep a moment, and he cast a satisfied look at the top of her head. While Teal’c seemed his usual unperturbed self, Carter looked a little worse for wear. Her cap was missing, her hair disheveled, dirt smudges on her cheek and knees, and there was even a twig and some leaves sticking out from the straps of her pack. Jackson subtly bumped elbows with her, and their hands brushed occasionally as the conversation continued. She straightened, but still held hands with Teal’c. “They didn’t want to take no for an answer, sir.”

If the dark circles under her eyes and faint tremor in her body was any indication, she was near exhaustion. Jackson gave her hand a quick squeeze.

“After supper they had a gaggle of girls and bevy of beaus just waiting to mingle DNA,” O’Neill added.

Jackson spoke more slowly than usual, some words slurred because of his swollen lip. “By the time we broke for the night we thought they’d finally accepted no for an answer. But just after midnight some warriors raided our camp and tried to abduct Sam.”

“And you,” O’Neill said softly. He also had dark shadows under his eyes.

Jackson shrugged.

Raid? George realized that the two men were not only still unabashedly -– or perhaps unconsciously -- holding hands, their fingers were entwined. A tight grip, not just a casual clasp. George had thought O’Neill’s right hand was dirty when he’d handed over his rifle, but now he was thinking the dark spatters marring O’Neill’s jacket and sleeve were likely dried blood, not dirt. Punch someone in the nose just right -– and O’Neill certainly knew how –- and their blood would splatter like a Jackson Pollack painting.

“A couple groups even tried to ambush us on our way to the Gate this morning,” O’Neill continued his report. “Culling the herd, as it were.”

Ah, that explained everyone holding onto everyone else.

“GeneralHammond, I believe O’Neill has sustained a concussion.”

O’Neill leaned back to scowl at Teal’c. “Yeah, well, not everyone has Junior healing their bumps and bruises.” He schooled his expression to one of polite neutrality before facing his commanding officer again. “It’s just a bump, sir. Nothing to worry about.”

George saw through O’Neill’s insouciant attitude and tone of voice. They’d had a scare.

O’Neill and his team had taken on numerous System Lords, engaged in countless fire fights, and overcome incredible odds to save the entire planet a time or two. But this mission had exposed team members to a different type of danger. This one might need more than an evening of steaks and pool hustling at O’Malley’s to restore their equilibrium. Might need an entire weekend at the Colonel’s house together, bonding over beer and pizza. The fact O’Neill was still holding onto Jackson, and Teal’c hadn’t let go of Carter, spoke volumes.

“Why don’t you let the doctors confirm your diagnosis, Colonel?” George addressed the rest of the team. “Head to the infirmary for your post-mission physicals, people. We’ll debrief in two hours.”

The team ambled out of the Gateroom amid a chorus of “Yes, sir’s,” in two pairs instead of one foursome.

They were almost to the hallway when O’Neill spoke again. “Now will you guys believe me when I say half the galaxy wants in Daniel’s pants? Female _and_ male?”

“Jack, don’t be an ass.”

“Non-humanoid as well, DanielJackson. Do not forget the residents of P27-509. They seemed most enamored of you.”

Jackson groaned.

Carter giggled.

As they disappeared around the corner, George knew they’d be fine. Not right now. But soon.


End file.
